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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29416011">Mendings, Major and Minor</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriel_Is_My_Guardian_Angel89/pseuds/Gabriel_Is_My_Guardian_Angel89'>Gabriel_Is_My_Guardian_Angel89</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Come Eating, Coming Untouched, Family Dynamics, Feelings, Finally Talking Things Out, Frottage, Hand Job, Hurt!Spike, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Masturbation, Internalized Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Regret, Semi-clothed smut, Sex on the Couch, Smut, Spike snark, Use of 'Sire' voice, Vampires Purr Dammit!, as well we know, coming on command, family bonds, mother-hen Angel, soft!Spike, sorta - Freeform, the boys trying to deny their demons, they have a very complicated past, vampire dynamics, working thru problems of the past</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:53:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,919</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29416011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriel_Is_My_Guardian_Angel89/pseuds/Gabriel_Is_My_Guardian_Angel89</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike gets badly injured after dragging Angel along to an ill-conceived demon fight and Angel finds he can't help but slip back into long-repressed habits. When the past comes back to them, will they continue fighting the inevitable or can Angel find a way for them to move forward, together?</p><p>Set somewhere after Destiny and goes slightly AU.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Angel/Spike (BtVS), Spangel - Relationship, Spangelus (past relationship)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Fractured</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>yet again, a simple plot idea turned into a multi-chapter fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Angel strode through his suite quickly, Spike’s broken and unconscious body cradled in arms as he made his way to the bathroom. Mentally kicking himself for not bringing more backup on the hunt, no matter how much his idiot Childe had insisted they could take on the small group of Chaos demons on their own. </p><p>He carefully sat the limp blonde on the toilet seat and set about filling the bathtub. Spike was covered in blood, his and the demons, and more than a little of the sap-like mucus that covered the dispatched demons. As the tub filled, he began removing Spike’s clothes. The duster was just barely salvageable somehow, though his shirt was shredded beyond redemption, thrown in the wastebasket before Angel turned his attention to the rest. He tugged off Spike’s boots, surprised momentarily to find the younger vampire actually bothered to wear socks, tugged them off too and tossed them aside. </p><p>Lifting Spike up again, Angel braced him against the wall and worked the button and zipper of his too-tight jeans undone. This time, he was not surprised when he peeled the fabric down to be met with the fact that he wasn’t wearing underwear. Doubted the extra layer would even fit between the boy and the jeans anyway. After a quick scan over the slim body, Angel kept his gaze firmly on the task at hand as he eased first one leg, then the other, out of the denim before scooping him back up and easing him into the tub, turning off the spout before the level rose above his collarbone. He picked up a washcloth and the bottle of body wash and knelt down to set about cleaning up the drying crust of blood and slime from Spike’s pale and still unmoving body. </p><p>The cuts and scrapes gained from the fight had mostly healed already, the hole in Spike’s shoulder from where he’d been gored by an antler the only wound still bleeding as Angel gently wiped around it and inspected it to make sure no scraps of cloth had gotten stuck. Bruises were already forming, purple and ugly, on his torso where a hoof had all but crushed through his sternum. Bones were harder to mend than flesh, even for them, and nearly every one had suffered at least a minor fracturing by the time the last Chaos demon had fallen under his boot. </p><p>After the layer of muck had been cleaned off his body, Angel carefully maneuvered Spike so that he could check out the back of his head. Dried blood caked the slicked back platinum blonde hair where his skull had been trod upon by one of the bastards, and Angel felt his stomach twist as he ran his hand over the younger vampire’s head to assess the damage. Fractured, just as he had suspected, most likely explaining why his reckless Childe had yet to regain consciousness. </p><p>He could have brought the boy to the medlab the law firm ran, let them patch him up, knew they were well-equipped to handle a variety of demon-related injuries. But this was <em> his </em>Childe, his family. And Spike would need his help to recover, he had reasoned with himself as he had strode through the lobby and up to his suite. Blood owes to blood. </p><p>Angel took a breath to keep himself in check as rage threatened to pull forth the demon, and gently submerged Spike’s head to wash the blood from his hair, taking the opportunity to wash out the thick layer of product that kept the strands so firmly in place. Old memories surfaced as he ran his hands through the short locks and he had to fight back the stirrings they dredged up along with them. </p><p>Blood gone, he made quick work of a final rinse off of Spike’s lax form and pulled the plug on the drain and grabbed a pair of clean towels from the linen closet. Laying one out on the floor of the bathroom, he lifted Spike from the tub and laid him down on it, using the other to dry him off. His continued stillness disconcerted Angel, the blonde was stiller than he’d ever seen him; even in sleep, he had a habit of breathing unnecessarily and wiggling about, like a puppy who was dreaming of chasing rabbits. To see him like this, pale skin mottled with bruises, lip split and slightly swollen, Angel wanted to clutch the boy to him, shake him until he finally opened his eyes. </p><p>Finally done drying him off, Angel scooped him up once more and carried him back into the bedroom. Laying Spike across the bed, he grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms from his drawer and awkwardly managed to ease them onto the blonde. He considered finding a shirt for him, but decided against it and pulled down the covers before tugging him up the mattress and settling him under the sheets.</p><p>Spike taken care of for the time being, Angel set about cleaning himself up, his bloodstained clothes joining Spike’s to be dealt with later. He took a perfunctory shower, not giving his mind the time to think on the vampire laying in his bed as he washed away the layers of grime and goo. It was going to be hard enough keeping himself focused on simply taking care of Spike without remembering the old days and keeping his feelings tucked away while <em> dressed </em>, let alone while standing naked beneath the spray of hot water, his hands temptingly close to where his body longed for more attention. </p><p>As his mind threatened to betray him, he gave himself one last rinse off and turned off the shower, toweling off minimally before heading back into the bedroom to shrug into his nightclothes.</p><p>Spike was exactly as he had left him, the sheets tucked under his armpits, hands unmoving at his sides. Angel had hoped he would’ve stirred by now and worried again about the extent of the damage the skull fracture had caused. No way to be sure until he regained consciousness.</p><p>After he dressed, Angel headed into the kitchen and warmed up a couple of mugs of otter blood. In the morning he would have to call the firm’s blood bank for some human blood to speed Spike’s healing. Of course, his blood would heal the blonde even faster than human blood, but he was hesitant to go down that route just yet, especially while he remained unaware of what was going on. Spike deserved the chance to refuse it; the sharing of family blood was intimate and not to be done without due consideration, lines blurred, feelings became heightened, less controllable as desires were pulled to the forefront. So yeah, for now, otter blood would have to do. </p><p>The microwave beeped and Angel gulped down half of his mug before plunking a straw in the other and heading back to Spike’s side. Setting his mug aside, he eased the straw between Spike’s pale, cracked lips, giving him a few seconds for the demon to scent the blood and take over. Two minutes passed without reaction, dashing Angel’s hopes that he wasn’t too far gone for the subconscious behavior to kick in. He would definitely be offering Spike his blood once he woke up now. </p><p>Angel took the straw away and eased Spike’s mouth open, carefully pouring the blood down his throat, watching to make sure his throat, at least, was still working on instinct, swallowing the liquid down without choking. Angel let out a frustrated sigh once the mug was finally empty, setting it aside and wiping up the stray droplet of blood that had collected at the corner of Spike’s lips. Without thinking, he licked the drop off his thumb before dragging a chair from the living room over to the side of the bed.</p><p>He retrieved his cellphone from his ruined pants and drained the rest of his own mug as he waited for Wesley to answer his call. Settling into the chair for the night, he pointedly ignored the empty space on the other side of the bed. He could handle the chair for the night; he doubted he would get any sleep anyway. Not while his Childe looked so helpless, his skin paper thin and near gray with its deathly pallor. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Two days later and he was still waiting for Spike to regain consciousness. </p><p>Angel had spent the major part of the past forty-eight hours at his bedside, stepping away only to microwave blood for the two of them or to take a quick shower before returning to his spot in the armchair. Fred and Wesley had shown up that first morning to bring Angel a cooler full of human blood and to give Spike a look-over to see if there had been any preternatural reasons for his apparent comatose state. They, of course, found nothing and Fred had supposed that he would eventually come to once his body had recovered enough, though she was a bit worried about what his mental state would be when he did finally awaken. Angel had assured her he would be ready to deal with him if he wasn’t quite himself and she nodded and told him to make sure to keep her updated if anything changed for the worse. </p><p>Each time Angel went to feed Spike, he tried first with the straw to see if instinct would kick in. By the end of the first day, as the sun began to set outside the window, the demon finally took over, taking deep pulls at the plastic tube until the mug was empty. Angel was surprised to notice the tightness in his chest easing as Spike fed. He avoided examining that revelation too closely. At least the blood was doing its job. Still, he wished that Spike would wake up so he could help him heal faster. </p><p>Angel allowed himself a couple of mugs of the human blood throughout the day, knowing he would need to keep his strength up, either to fight off a deranged Spike, or to further heal his fool-headed Childe. As he sat in his chair, trying to occupy his mind with a book randomly selected from the shelf, his eyes more and more frequently strayed over to the empty space beside Spike. He found himself fighting back the urge to crawl into the bed and pull the blonde into the circle of his arms. </p><p><em> No </em>, he reminded himself, not only did that hold the possibility to cause more damage, that wasn’t who they were anymore. That kind of intimacy was buried deep in their past, the days of holding his Childe to his side, bruised and bloody after he’d picked the wrong fight, were long over. Spike was likely to try to rip his throat out if he woke up in such a vulnerable position, no matter how clear his mind was. </p><p>Angel would doze a couple hours, wake up, feed Spike, and start up his bedside vigil anew. For nearly three days, the routine continued like that, the monotony of it broken only by a call to the firm for another batch of donated blood or a shower to wash off the stress and relax his cramping muscles. Being a vampire didn’t make sleeping in that chair any less uncomfortable. Showers were a shorter affair than he would have cared for, his wandering thoughts prompting him to rinse off quickly before he let himself get lost in them.</p><p>Nearly sixty hours after dragging Spike out of the alley, Angel found the silence of the room broken by a stuttered, and wholly unnecessary, breath, blurry eyes lifting from the unread page to catch sight of Spike’s eyelids finally fluttering open.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“S’wha?”</p><p>Spike’s eyes opened...and promptly shut again as he let out a loud groan, his head spinning, colors swirling dizzily behind his eyelids. God, he could actually <em> hear </em> his head throbbing. He felt the surface he was lying on dip beside him, <em> oh, ‘s a bed then, chipper </em>, and pried his eyes open again, slowly. </p><p>Angel looked down at him with a wide, worried gaze. The pain had taken so much of his focus he hadn’t even registered his Grandsire’s scent before, though as he took a steadying breath, he could smell it everywhere, wrapping around him like a blanket, comforting the demon inside as he tried to recall what had happened before he woke up here.</p><p>“Easy, Spike.” Angel wrapped a firm hand around his arm as he tried to sit up against the pillows. “You’re still healing, so try to move slowly, okay?”</p><p>Spike let out a sudden yelp and let his head fall back against the pillows, his face flickering as pain shot through him. Angel pulled his hand back immediately, his already-wide eyes growing wider as the blonde snarled in frustration. </p><p>“Where does it hurt, Spike?”</p><p>“Sod off.”</p><p>“<em> William </em>, where does it hurt?” Angel repeated the question, his tone one he hadn’t resorted to with the boy since those dark days in Sunnydale, his demon growling low. </p><p>Spike blanched slightly at the change and pouted as he reluctantly answered. </p><p>“Base of my spine...<em> Sire </em>.” </p><p>Angel at least had the decency to look ashamed at his slip, his lips pressed tight as he looked away. </p><p>“I didn’t mean…”</p><p>“To go all Angelus on me? Bound to happen sometime.” Spike rolled his eyes in an attempt to shrug it off, despite the icy tone of his voice. “Mind tellin’ me why I can’t feel my legs? Last I remember, I was choppin’ off the antlers of that slack-faced Chaos demon.”</p><p>Angel sat on the edge of the bed beside Spike, taking care not to jostle him as he turned to face him, eyes tight with worry as he spoke.</p><p>“One of them got the drop on you while I was fighting off the bastard that had me cornered, it caught you in its antlers and threw you into the wall. I managed to fight them off and get you back here, barely. You lost a lot of blood, a lot of broken bones, even that thick head of yours got a crack in it for your troubles. You’ve been unconscious since I got you into the car.”</p><p>“How long?” Spike’s voice was pained as he tried again to shift himself. “‘Long was I knocked out?”</p><p>“It’s been nearly three days.” Angel leaned over and helped ease Spike into a sitting position against the headboard, flinching when the younger vampire let out a soft hiss of discomfort. “I had Fred come up here as soon as she could to make sure your condition wasn’t caused by their mucus or anything. Had blood brought up to speed the healing; didn’t do as much as I’d hoped though, if you’re still in pain.” </p><p>Spike hummed in agreement and looked down at himself. His eyebrow quirked up at the sight of his bare chest and he lifted the blanket, taking in the pair of pajama pants and looking over at Angel with a huffing laugh.</p><p>“Bathed me, did you, ya poof?”</p><p>“Yeah, well, you were covered in blood and snot, I wasn’t going to lay you down anywhere like that.” Angel frowned at Spike, his exhaustion starting to win out now that he was awake. “I can drop you back in that alley if you’re just going to bellyache the rest of however long it’s going to take for you to heal. Or I can knock you back out, since that seems to be the only time you can shut up.”</p><p>“Was just wonderin’ is all. Didn’t mean to chafe your delicate sensibilities with the suggestion that you might’ve been tryin’ to gander at the goods.”</p><p>“Spike…”</p><p>“Oh, unclench, Peaches.” Spike sighed as Angel stood up from the bed. Truth be told, he was actually touched that Angel seemed to have gone through a fair bit of trouble on his account, not that he planned on saying as much. He looked at Angel as the older vampire grabbed his phone and made a call, presumably to let Fred or one of the others of his merry band know he was awake. He felt a small pang of guilt as he took in the weary slope of Angel’s shoulders, the beginnings of dark circles under his eyes denoting his lack of sleep. Spike noticed the chair by the bed and the pang grew. When Angel ended the call, he cast him a sober look. “Shouldn’t be bustin’ your chops, mate. Bringin’ me here alone is more’n I’ve any right to expect. You look like Hell, by the way, how much sleep ‘ave you got this whole time?”</p><p>Angel ran his hand over his face as he set his phone down and crossed the room, Spike’s gaze following him. </p><p>“I’ve slept, Spike, don’t worry about it.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah, that was informative.” </p><p>Spike listened to the sound of Angel opening the fridge, the smell of human blood filling his senses and causing his stomach to grumble as a couple of pouches were ripped open. A minute later, the microwaved beeped, but when Angel returned, he was empty-handed.</p><p>“What, you plan on starvin’ me for my sass now?”</p><p>“No, I just thought it would be more expedient if I gave you the option of my blood instead.” Angel came back over and sat on the bed, his arm extending towards Spike, the smell of the blood lingering on his breath as he closed the distance. Spike’s gaze sharpened as the words sunk in, his storm-blue eyes locking with Angel’s as he looked up from his wrist. “I won’t force you, there’s still plenty of the human stuff, but you know it’ll heal you faster.”</p><p>“Angel…” Spike startled. His injuries really must’ve been extensive if Angel thought this was necessary; Angelus had only offered his blood to him in the most dire of situations, the added intimacy too much for his liking. </p><p>“Unless you <em> like </em>being stuck in my bed for who knows how long?” Angel goaded, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Your choice.” </p><p>“Well, when you put it like that.” </p><p>Spike fought back the volley of thoughts that rushed through his brain, memories of the past trying to take center stage as Angel leaned in closer, his wrist hovering inches from his lips. He let his fangs extend as he wrapped a hand around Angel’s arm and closed the distance. He kept his gaze on Angel as he broke through the cold skin, noted how his breath hitched as his fangs sank into the offered flesh and the first drops of blood landed on his tongue.</p><p>He barely managed to contain the moan of pleasure that lodged in his throat as his mouth filled with the heady taste of family blood, <em> Angel’s </em>blood. He let his eyes fall closed as he drank, the rich sustenance making his skin tingle as it ran through his veins. As he sucked at the wounds, he heard Angel let out a soft hum and he opened his eyes to find a relaxed smile on his lips, his eyelids half shut. </p><p>“Good, William, that’s it”, Angel purred, his voice taking on a slight lilt as he let his shoulders sag. “You don’t know how worried you had me, Childe, not waking, not even feeding on your own for the first day. So reckless. Why must you always be so reckless, Spike?”</p><p>Angel met his gaze, his eyes sad as he looked at him. He reached out with his free hand as if to touch Spike’s cheek but let it fall back to his lap with a flinch, shaking his head to clear it. </p><p>“Enough.”</p><p>Spike looked away as he eased his fangs from Angel’s wrist, giving the wound a cursory lick to clean off the excess blood before letting go of his arm. He slumped back against the pillows, his head filled with images of the past and feelings he didn’t want to revisit, at least not while so totally surrounded by the subject of their cause. He felt Angel shift and lifted his head to look at him. </p><p>Angel stood up from the bed, crossing over to the bathroom with careful steps. Spike watched him close the door and cursed under his breath. He had hoped the blood sharing wouldn’t affect either of them, that he could get through it without confusing things for them. He cocked his head in confusion when he heard the shower turn on; Angel had smelled like he'd recently bathed, the scent and tang of that fancy soap of his had still lingered on his skin when he bit into him. <em> Oh </em>. Realization dawned as the faint smell of arousal wafted from under the door, a soft groan barely audible over the sound of the water. He hadn’t been able to smell anything beyond the scent of the blood, too immersed in it to focus on anything other than the taste in his mouth and the words falling from his Grandsire’s lips.</p><p>The scent grew as Spike tried to tune it out, a low grunt pulling his gaze to the door every so often. He barely caught the choked <em> Will </em> that Angel groaned out shortly before the water cut off, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip to bite back the ingrained response of <em> Angelus </em>that welled in his throat. He closed his eyes and stopped breathing, letting his mind clear before Angel came back.</p><p>When the door opened, Angel had a towel wrapped around his waist. Spike followed the trail of a stray drop of water that fell from his hair onto his bare chest as he crossed over to pull out a clean pair of pajama bottoms. Blinking, he mentally shook himself out of his lust-addled stupor and looked back up to Angel’s face.</p><p>The look of exhaustion was back and in full force as Angel slid the cotton pants on, his movements sluggish, bloodloss and the lack of sleep catching up to him. Spike watched silently as Angel finished drying off his hair and tossed the towel into the hamper, noted how he didn’t bother to pull on a shirt before taking up station in the chair at his side. </p><p>“Sorry about that. Maybe we should limit how often you drink from me.”</p><p>“Nah, ‘s alright. I know how it is, family blood ‘n all.” <em> Your blood. </em></p><p>An awkward silence hung between them before Angel spoke again, his eyes scanning briefly over Spike’s prone form.</p><p>“Did you need...?”</p><p>“Nope. Felt the effects, same as you. Still do, even, but the blood ain’t quite flowin’ south at the mo’. Consider it a perk, I guess. Otherwise I’d ‘ave been right tempted to join you in that shower, mate.” </p><p>“Oh. Well, good then, I think?”</p><p>“Look,” Spike sighed and shook his head, “you look dead on your feet, Angel. Pun not intended. You’re no use to anyone, ‘specially me, if you keel over before I’m all healed up, and there’s more than enough space in this lap o’luxury bed of yours. Why don’t you get a proper rest in? Used to sleepin’ on a bed of nails as you might be, even you can’t possibly find that chair comfortable.”</p><p>“I’ll be fine, Spike.” Angel looked away from him, leaning further back in the chair as if to prove his point. </p><p>“You can brood and self-flagellate to your heart’s content once I’m up and about, ducks, but would you just grab yourself a mug of blood, and haul your fat, miserable arse into this bed and catch some winks? Hell, don’t even hafta be the full forty.” Spike flung his arm across the space beside him, patting the bed in invitation. “Sun’s settin’, I’m guessing everyone’ll be toddling out of the office soon, and unless you plan on leavin’ me here all on my lonesome to track down some beastie, what better plans could you have? Not like I can exactly throw myself atcha, can I?”</p><p>“Jesus Christ, fine! If it’ll stop you droning on, fine.” Angel stood from the chair and helped Spike burrow back down under the blankets before he walked around the bed to the other side. “At least you look a little less gray, now. Hopefully your spine will finish healing over the next day or so. Then I can have my bed back to myself.”</p><p>“So eager to be rid of me, are ya, Peaches?”</p><p>Angel pulled back the sheets and collapsed onto the mattress with a growl. </p><p>“You know, I’m starting to think I liked it better when you were unconscious. At least then you weren’t speaking.”</p><p>“Ouch. I see the afterglow of that li’l shower wank ‘as worn off. You’re cranky when you’re tired, mate, you know that?”</p><p>Spike turned his head to watch Angel as he settled himself, the older vampire flopping onto his side to face him before pulling the blanket up over his shoulders, the difference in height leaving the fabric practically tucked up under Spike’s chin. Angel looked over at him with a small frown.</p><p>“Cranky, yes. But not just ‘cause I’m tired, Spike. Just...get some sleep, okay?” Angel’s eyes fell closed as he laid his head on the pillow, and Spike felt him shift under the sheets, a whisper of cool skin brushing against his arm. “Sleep now, talk later.”</p><p>Spike heaved a sigh and let his own eyes close, unsure if he even could sleep at the moment. His head was still swimming with old memories, Angel’s blood thrumming in his veins. He breathed deep, letting the scent of his Grandsire fill his senses, the sudden sleepy-calm radiating off of him eventually lulling him into his own bit of peace. As he drifted off, he felt Angel’s pinky wrap around his, and a smile tugged at his lips. Guess the big broody lump was still feeling the afterglow, after all. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>chapter two coming soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Blood Runs Deep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Our boys finally manage to use their words, eventually.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this went way off the rails from where i had planned for it to go during this chapter. they both kept taking over and not wanting to shut up so i gave up on trying to make them get smutty on the couch...for now.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Spike’s stomach woke him ahead of Angel, city lights trickling in through the window, casting their soft glow across the room. Night had barely fallen over the city, the moon not yet visible over the top of the higher skyscrapers. By his reckoning, they had managed to sleep three, maybe four hours. Not nearly enough for Angel, perhaps, but more than he needed after missing out on the last three days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While they had slept, Angel had wound up sliding closer to Spike with his arm flung across his stomach, as though to keep him where he lay. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Poof</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Spike couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips as he rolled his eyes. He reached under the covers and trailed his fingers along Angel’s arm, the blood that lingered in his veins still calling up long-ignored memories. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he let his mind drift, Spike realized there was a slight tingling that ran from just under his navel down to his knees. He tried wiggling his toes first, but nothing happened so next he focused on flexing various leg muscles. He managed to clench his thighs, but anything lower was still just dead (</span>
  <em>
    <span>ha bloody ha</span>
  </em>
  <span>) weight. He had forgotten how fast vampire blood worked, especially when it was family blood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still mindlessly caressing Angel’s arm, he was rudely reminded of why he had awoken in the first place when his stomach growled. He grunted and left off his sleepy petting to try to sit up. And failed. Letting his head fall back against the pillows, he gave himself over to the uneasy task of waking Angel up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi, Angel, wake up.” Spike gave Angel’s arm a smack, garnering only a gruff grunt from the vampire at his side. Growling, he wrapped his hand around his wrist and gave him a shake. “C’mon, Peaches, time to feed the invalid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angel groaned and wrenched his arm away from Spike’s grip only to let it fall back across his waist and burrow in closer against his side. Spike sighed and twisted himself around to shove at his shoulder. God, he’d forgotten how stubborn his Grandsire could be when he didn’t want to wake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bloody hell, you great sodding oaf, wake your fat arse up and get me my blood! Coulda just left me to the care of the bleedin’ humans downstairs, but ya didn’t, so do your damn job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spike continued to poke and prod at Angel, knowing he would wake up if he just kept up the annoying buzzing gnat routine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bleedin’ heart blighter when it suits ya, but gods forbid you actually move your giant, lumberin’ buttocks when I need ya. Come on. Wake the hell up!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a particularly sharp jab at Angel’s side, the older vampire finally swatted Spike’s hands away, eyes blurry and unfocused as he sat up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, Spike, stop shouting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t hafta shout if you didn’t sleep like some sodding, broody gargoyle.” Spike huffed as Angel ran a hand through his hair. “‘S a good thing we don’t have body heat, Peaches, otherwise I’d be sweating like a pig in the desert, the way your great slab of a self was pressed against me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Angel looked over at him, confused, and finally noticed how close they were, his shoulder still brushing against Spike’s. He shifted uncomfortably, but Spike noticed he didn’t actually move away. “Shut up, Spike.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will not! Told you, that otter blood’s too rich to be indulging in as often as you do.” Spike nudged Angel teasingly to get him to look back over at him. Ignoring his glare, he continued. “You’ve always been bulkier than most of us, but now it’s not quite so much muscle, mate. Need to get yourself back into fighting shape; office life’s takin’ its toll on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still managed to save your ass from getting dusted by a slimy Chaos Demon,” Angel admonished, a tinge of a growl lacing his words. “Don’t know what you were thinking, taking on that many of them. Or what I was thinking, letting you drag me along, convincing me it was just an easy kill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angel looked over at Spike, and the blonde at least had the decency to look sheepish at the reprimanding. Leave it to Angel to make him feel like a fledge all over again, like he had just been caught returning home too close to sunrise. Angelus had always been strict about unnecessary risks, tried beyond measure to teach him to be careful. Neither promise of reward nor threat of punishment had won out over the impish demon’s parlous nature, though, no matter how cowed he may have seemed by the end of Angelus’ tirades.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll admit, it seems my intel turned out wrong. Thought there were only three or four of ‘em, honestly, or I’d’ve told ya t’bring more backup. Not like I was lookin’ to have my arse handed to me.” Spike fought to keep the angry pout off his lips, feeling closer to being William at that moment than he had in years. “I’ll quit pokin’ the bear for now, if you give up raggin’ on me for my shoddy reconnaissance, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angel rolled his eyes, his lips pursed in that perpetual sad scowl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a truce that’ll last.” Angel sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, scooting away from Spike a bit. “What time is it anyway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“8:30? I don’t know, mate, clock’s on your side of the bed.” Spike tried to get himself back in check as the past still threatened to overtake him, Angel’s shifting oddly irritating his demon. “Only woke up meself ‘cause my stomach wouldn’t leave me be. Still hasn’t by the way, so if you’re feeling generous, mind fixing us up a couple pints of the ruby red?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angel rubbed at his eyes and turned his head to look at the clock. 8:45; he was comforted to find that Spike’s wasn’t that far off, it bade well for his state of mind that his internal clock was still pretty well calibrated. Nearly four hours, which was almost double what he’d managed to sleep in one sitting over the past three days, but still not quite enough to leave him feeling refreshed. He was surprised that he had drifted closer to Spike in his sleep, century-old memories of waking up in similar positions nagging at the back of his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cast a glance back over at his bedridden Childe to find him staring back expectantly. Even now, still half-asleep and hollow-cheeked from the toll healing was taking on him, even like this, the blonde’s beauty was striking, and Angel felt both demon and soul swoop at the sight of Spike’s head laying against his pillow, the loose curls fanning around his face and looking every bit the innocent young poet he’d been so long ago. Groaning inwardly, Angel shook off the intrusive thoughts and turned away again, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, it seems like a bit of the family blood was just the ticket to help give the healin’ a boost”, Spike spoke up as Angel stood from the bed and started to cross the room. Angel paused and looked back at him, hope evident in his tired eyes. “Can’t move my feet or bend my knees yet, but my spine ain’t twingin’ when I shift and thigh muscles seem to be workin’...not much, but ‘s progress, at least. So, thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angel shook his head and let out a huff of amazed laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I must be sleeping still. Could’ve sworn I just heard you thank me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t push it, mate. I’s just trying to be nice, don’t hafta be, y’know.” Spike scowled over at his Grandsire, rankling at his teasing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why the bloody hell do I even bother? Not like he really gives two shakes ‘bout me, probably just had some momentary pang of guilt and felt he had to stick with his decision once he brought me up here.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “You can sod off to the kitchen now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>there’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>the Spike I know.” Angel rolled his eyes and made his way out of the room, voice trailing behind him as he headed through the suite to the kitchen. “You know, if you weren’t such a jackass all the time, I wouldn’t be so surprised when you actually act like a normal person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not normal. Not a person.” Spike called after him, stomach growling louder as the smell of blood reached his nose. “Not apologizin’ for not always bein’ able to control my nature. Ain’t like you don’t bitch back as good as I give it, so don’t go chewin’ me out for roaring when poked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard Angel snort derisively as the microwave beeped and set himself to glare angrily at the ceiling once it was clear he wasn’t going to respond. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shame, that. Could use a bit of back ‘n forth, keep that line between past and present clear and visible.</span>
  </em>
  <span> No matter how Spike tried to ignore them, the memories of who he and his Grandsire used to be to each other pressed closer and closer to the surface of his mind, threatening to pull him under, immerse him in feelings he had long suppressed. Images of Angelus holding him close, his lips firmly latched onto the elder’s throat and pulling mouthfuls of sacred blood to bolster his strength after one fight or another, flitted at his peripheral. Spike closed his eyes against the image, only to open them again with a low growl. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nope, that’s worse.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going as fast as the microwave will allow, Spike”, Angel grumbled, mistaking the growl for a complaint aimed at him. Without realizing it in his exhausted state, his normally well-contained demon laced his next words with that tone that brooked no argument. “Lose your patience again boy, and it’ll be pig’s blood you get next, and you’ll drink it ice cold.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spike’s head lifted and he stared in the vague direction of the kitchen, eyes wide and mouth gaping at the command. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, cos that voice helps</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought as a shiver ran down his spine. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bloody hell, he’s gonna be the death of me.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t growlin’ at you, Peaches. And the next time you use that tone ‘a voice at me, you better bloody well mean it!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spike bit back a dry laugh as he sensed Angel’s shock and heard a soft curse. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Glad to know I ain’t the only one losing grip o’myself here. At least the poofter’s feelin’ it, too.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hearing the microwave begin to run again, Spike carefully sat up and slid back until he was resting up against the headboard, wishing there was a television in the room to help distract him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he could convince Angel that he was well enough to be left alone for a few hours, get him to go out and run off some of that pent up...whatever...by killing something, or many somethings. Hell, he’d settle getting the Great Grump out of his hair for as long as it took to head down to the nearest shop and get him a pack of smokes and some snacks. Angel may not eat, but Spike had always found the liquid diet boring, he liked to switch it up. Either way a little distance and time apart would do them both some good, let them have a chance to clear their heads. Drinking from Angel earlier had made a hole in the barrier he kept up between their past relationship and what they were now, and sleeping next to him, waking up with him so close, so like the way they used to be, had only served to chip away at it further, making it harder to think about anything else. He needed to plug it back up while he still had a chance, before he let the whole thing crumble to rubble and let his Grandsire back in completely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still ruminating over how best to get the older vampire out of the suite for a bit, Spike failed to hear Angel enter the room a few minutes later, the movement in his peripheral startling him slightly. His hands were upsettingly empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been in there forever, mate, why for the love of all that is unholy, are you not holdin’ a mug of blood? Change your mind about starving me, did you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, the blood’s all warmed up, I just set it up in the living room.” Angel rounded the bed to stand over him, his eyes narrowed in nervousness. “Look, I’m sorry about slipping into the old tone again. I know I don’t have the right to invoke any kind of command like that anymore, it just happened. With the lack of sleep, the effects of the blood sharing are lingering longer than I thought they would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kinda figured. Same here, ‘s like I said, can’t always fight against nature.” Spike shifted in the bed, resisting the urge to look away from Angel, the demon wanting to demure in it’s elders presence, even as the bedsheet slid down to pool around his waist. “Been givin’ it a hell of a rally though, else you wouldn’t ‘ave gotten out of this bed without a fight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spike noticed how Angel swallowed hard at that admission, recovering quickly before his face could betray him further, and felt a shiver of pride worm its way down his spine at the fact that he could still affect him that way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Angel continued as though Spike hadn’t interrupted his explanation. “I figured we both could do with some boredom alleviation, and I doubt you’re ready to get more rest just yet, so I thought we could watch some T.V. for a little while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spike’s eyes widened, slightly taken aback by the consideration. Wasn’t as good as getting him out of the apartment for an hour or so, but it was better than nothing. Then realization dawned on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Christ. You’re gonna have to carry me, ain’t ya?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I could </span>
  <em>
    <span>drag </span>
  </em>
  <span>you to the couch, but I doubt that’ll help your healing very much, so yes, I will have to carry you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Har fucking har.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s only twenty feet, Spike, I think you’ll survive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spike glared up at him, crossing his arms over his chest, his jaw set in silent defiance. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Great, either he goes all caveman on me, and he ends up with a faceful of my arse, or he carries me like a bloody bride and I end up with my arms slung around him and my face buried in his neck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I’ll have the office send up a wheelchair in the morning, but for now, we just have to make do. Now, are you going to let me move you, or do you plan on testing the limits of my control?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spike had stiffened a bit at the mention of a wheelchair, memories of those dreadful weeks in Sunnydale swimming to the surface for a minute before he managed to shake them off. Gratefully, Angel hadn’t seemed to notice, or had misinterpreted the meaning behind the change in his demeanor. Either way suited Spike just fine, so he let his shoulders slump in defeat as Angel bent over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angel threw back the sheets and carefully slid Spike’s legs out of the bed, his grip firm but gentle as he made sure not to jostle him unnecessarily. He took a quick look up to make sure Spike wasn’t wincing in pain, and then bent lower to wrap an arm around his middle. Taking care not to breathe as he adjusted his stance, his face briefly pressed against Spike’s chest, Angel stood and slung him over his shoulder, shifting his grip to wrap his arm around his thighs. He was grateful Spike couldn’t see the grimace that played over his features as he noted the fact that he was lighter than he had been when he first carried him up here. As much blood as he had been routinely giving him, his body was using every drop to focus on healing, and it was still slow-going. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Looks like I’ll have to give him more of my blood sooner rather than later if I want him to actually have the strength to walk any time soon.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you had to get all Neanderthal on me. ‘Course, it would explain the bleedin’ forehead if you were the soddin’ missing link.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take care, Spike.” Angel had to inhale to speak, and the scent of his Childe mingling with his own threatened his sensibilities as he turned to cross the room. It was a struggle just to keep the demon out of his voice. “Master vampire or not, you’re currently in position for me to spank you like the Fledge you keep acting like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And your arse is in perfect bitin’ range, so I wouldn’t bloody advise it, Gramps.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I’m gonna have Fred give you a CAT-scan, make sure that crack in your skull didn’t cause some kind of long-term personality regression. You haven’t been this ornery since…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Angel’s voice trailed off as he realized exactly when Spike had last been this combative with him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, great, and you just mentioned getting him a wheelchair not five minutes ago, too. Good going, Angel. Repressing memories is one thing, but how could you completely forget that the last time he was this vulnerable in your presence, Angelus treated him like absolute shit?!? No wonder his moods have been shifting all over the place, probably keeps expecting you to start the torment any second now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wot?” Spike broke Angel out of his thoughts as he neared the couch. “Ain’t been this catty since what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N-nevermind.” Angel hoped he wouldn’t press further and eased Spike to the couch, propping him up against the throw-pillows he had set up against the armrest and laying his legs down the length of the sofa. He lifted Spike’s legs just long enough to situate himself under them when he sat, resting his feet in his lap and pointedly not meeting his confused gaze. “Don’t even start that sentence, Spike.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t gonna say anything…” Spike pouted at him out of the corner of his eye, shifting back against the pillows petulantly. He just barely caught the whispered </span>
  <em>
    <span>poof </span>
  </em>
  <span>and had to rein in the growl building at the back of his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Right</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning his attention back to the task at hand, Angel pulled the tray he had set up with a pitcher of blood and the sparse offering of food he had on hand closer and stretched his arm out over one of the mugs. Ignoring Spike’s scrutinizing stare boring a hole into the side of his head, he nicked a scratch across his wrist and let the cup fill half-way with his blood before pinching the wound closed until the skin healed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spike’s nostrils flared at the scent of Angel’s blood as the elder finished preparing the mugs, his eyes narrowing in confusion as he watched. The sudden change from Angel scolding him like some fresh-born Fledgling to caring about his well-being was enough to give him mental whiplash. Not to mention the warring emotions swirling around inside as he kept recalling the way Angelus had treated him the last time he had been this helpless. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like I don’t remember exactly when I’ve last been this crotchety with you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Spike fought to keep his thoughts from tumbling forth as Angel mixed the human blood in with his, </span>
  <em>
    <span>like every second I don’t wonder when that brute is gonna show back up and taunt me, switch the human blood for rat and let me stew in my filth as I try to heal. World would be gone if I hadn’t bribed and threatened the minions into fetchin’ me enough blood bags to heal me up quick enough to stop the great wanker.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Even as the anger at those memories rose like bile in his throat, the smell of family blood, Angel’s blood, filled his nose and called up yet again memories of the Angelus who had once loved him enough to care for him on instinct, to clutch him close and let him feed without hesitation when he had needed to speed the healing, treating him as gently as he always did Dru. Deep down, both had known that was part of why William so often picked fights he couldn’t possibly win unscathed. The blood overrode the rivalry, the petty jealousy and need to one-up each other. Family blood called to their deepest instincts, the drive to connect, to protect and love took over and any squabble about who belonged to whom no longer existed, only them, only the bond; in those moments, there was no Angelus, Scourge of Europe, no William the Bloody, only the Line of Aurelius, only the blood they shared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d been on giving side a time or two himself, with Angelus. When he had been beaten particularly bloody by Darla for some offense or other and was still expected to protect and hunt and there hadn’t been time to let himself heal without help. Had experienced it more often with Drusilla, mind you, during the century of being her steadfast caretaker, needing to keep her strong after a dreadfully bad episode or if they had been run out of a village by another mob. Knew it was just as powerful to be fed from as to do the feeding. Knew even the great Angelus would be unable to withhold himself from the intense feeling of oneness, figured that was why he’d refused it in Sunnydale; same as he figured it was why Darla had never fed of any of them nor offered her own blood, thought herself above it in all her haughty beauty, to be worshiped and adored but never connected to anyone but her precious Master. Spike had always supposed she likened herself to a goddess, her blood ichor never to be spilt for any but her own creator.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“William. Will. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Spike</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Angel had leaned closer and was waving his hand in front of his face when Spike finally blinked and pulled himself out of his thoughts. He schooled his features into the best semblance of a scowl as he could muster as he looked up at Angel, trying to ignore the concern he found in his wide brown eyes. “What the hell, Spike? I was trying to get your attention for about two minutes and you were just staring at the table. Where’d you go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jus’ spaced out, is all. Not surprisin’ wot with you makin’ me wait so sodding long to eat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do I not believe that?” Angel sighed and sat back, handing Spike one of the mugs. “Fine, don’t tell me, but if it happens again, I’ll have Fred run more than just a CAT-scan on that thick-rinded melon of yours. Who knows what side effects that crack in your head could cause.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m just so bloody touched to know you care.” Spike felt a small pang of guilt at being his usual crass self when Angel was actually trying to be nice. And then the smell of his blood wafted from the mug and brought confusion back into the mix. “What’s this about then, anyway? Thought you wanted to not go through that so often?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was before I realized how much weight you’re losing trying to heal. Human blood alone won’t make much progress if you can’t keep your strength up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Yeah...thanks, then.” Spike took a careful sip from the mug, both hands wrapped around it to keep it from shaking in his grasp. Even mixed with the human blood, the taste of family (</span>
  <em>
    <span>Angel’s</span>
  </em>
  <span>) blood was distinct and potent as it slid down his throat, and he fought to keep the demon down as he drank. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s no need to force yourself to drink it so slowly, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh? Oh, right.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spike ducked his head sheepishly, feeling once again every inch a Fledge under Angel’s scrutiny. He watched as Angel turned back to the tray and picked up his own mug along with the remote before relinquishing his control a bit and gulped down the rest of the blood in three quick swallows. He just barely managed to contain a quiet moan as he drained the mug, and he noticed the minute clench of Angel’s jaw at the sound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could always go out for an hour or so, hunt down a beastie, if you wanted to. Clear your mind, y’know?” Spike set his now-empty mug down on the coffee table, studying Angel’s profile for any minute reactions. “Don’t have to stay here ‘n suffer right along with me. ‘M not your charge, Angel, you’re free to go about your nightly Championing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you?” Angel looked down into his own mug, his voice barely above a whisper. “Suffering?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Christ, Angel, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>what I meant. Ain’t really sufferin’, not rightly, no.” Spike spoke slowly, the blood coursing through his veins steadily making it more difficult to stay focused and not let his thoughts stray to the past again. “Not inasmuch as I’m soddin’ used to withholding when I need to. Just meant...well, ‘s not like I can traipse off to the bathroom whenever it gets too much, and can’t exactly take meself in hand when you’re right here, can I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spike, I know what you meant, and you know why I asked.” Angel set his mug down, the remote and all thoughts of passing a few hours catching up on whatever sports games he might have missed the past few days now forgot, and turned his head to face Spike, still hoping to find a way towards rectifying Angelus’ neglect. “I know full-well what the blood does, to both of us, and even without you drinking it straight from my flesh, I still feel the pull, just by knowing, just smelling it mixing with your scent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then go”, Spike interrupted, his voice near-pleading as he met Angel’s gaze, “clear your head of me for a bit, like I said. Know you don’t want to feel it, I know we’re not what we once were to each other, and I’ve learned long ago to accept that. Not your Will anymore, you made that well and clear back at the factory, so there’s no point in torturin’ yourself by hanging ‘round while the blood does what it’ll always do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And there it is. The bleedin’ elephant in the room, thrust front and center. Nothing for it now but to wait ‘n see how he circles around it, martyr that he is, till he makes it seem like he’s doing us both a favor by sitting by me side and -</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not why I brought you here. That wasn’t me, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bloody well looked like you as I can recall. ‘Less you got yourself a doppelganger out there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn it, Spike, Angelus and I are not the same and you goddamn know it.” Angel shifted bodily towards him, one hand braced against the couch, the other wrapped loosely around Spike’s calf as he leaned forward, his face serious as Spike had ever seen it. “Just as you are not the same Spike you used to be. By the time the demon had got free, it had gone insane. You saw yourself how he was nothing like the Angelus you knew, the Angelus that was released just wanted the world to burn, didn’t care anymore about family, about blood. Hell, the last he remembered of you, you had just tried to kill us, only reason he didn’t kill you outright was solely because you had done it to fix Dru. I was there, through it all, and I hated every moment he neglected to give you the care you needed. I hate it still. I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>that monster, Spike. I won’t ever be him again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spike gaped back at Angel, his mind reeling. If his heart weren’t dead, it would be beating near out of his chest; as it was he swore he could hear it pounding away, the phantom sound filling his ears like so much cotton. Not in all his unlife could he ever imagine Angel owning up to remembering how Angelus had treated him back during the Acathla fiasco, had more than half-expected him to brush past the topic altogether and dream up some other slight to parade as his reason for this seemingly self-imposed penance. And, gods, he was speaking again. Spike struggled to focus on his Grandsire, chocolate eyes imploring him to listen, to take his words for truth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spike. </span>
  <em>
    <span>William</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You never stopped being my blood, my family.” Angel lifted his hand from Spike’s calf and raised it slowly toward him, giving him every opportunity shy away as he reached towards him. Spike’s eyes widened further, the last bits of William that remained ingrained within his being surging to the front, holding him in place, giving in to the yearning he had been fighting since that first taste of Angel’s blood those few hours (</span>
  <em>
    <span>bloody hell, has it really been only a mere five hours since life stopped making sense?</span>
  </em>
  <span>) ago. Angel took the silent acquiescence and cupped his cheek, his lips twitching into a small smile when Spike automatically leaned into the touch. “Never stopped being </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>Will, my Childe. Not to me, even when I knew it was best to stay away. Jesus, Spike, I’m not taking care of you as some kind of punishment, I’m doing it because I’m not going to keep fighting against what our nature tells us is right to do. I’ve lost everyone else, not even sure if there are any of our line left. I won’t let you suffer needlessly when it’s in my power to fix you. Why do you think I’ve been having such poor control over the demon every time you fight back? I’ve always been able to keep my tone in check up till now, farcical as my willpower may have been at times, but it knows I don’t mean it this time. Angelus knows I want you just as much as we always did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stared at each other in silence, Spike fighting for words around the lump that had taken up residence in his throat. Angel’s face slowly fell, mistaking the silence for rejection, refusal to accept him back as the </span>
  <em>
    <span>protectormentorcaretakerlover</span>
  </em>
  <span> he had once been, and blinked back the sudden tears he felt stinging his eyes, reluctantly withdrawing his hand from where it cradled his boy’s face. That jolted Spike into action, his right hand moving lightning-quick to wrap around Angel’s wrist, holding him there, his eyes suddenly filled with a worried fear Angel was no longer used to seeing there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For God’s sake, Spike, say something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sod it all. Just kiss me, Liam, ‘fore I come to my bleedin’ senses and dust myself just to shut the demon up.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ok, so this may end up  taking 5-6 chapters instead of 4 seeing as they still haven't even gotten thru a full day yet.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Love Lingers Still</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Angel gives in to instinct, and Spike shows how much he still wears his undead heart on his sleeve.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>look who finally got the fang boys to shut up long enough to get some smut in?!?!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>And now Angel was gaping, his brain fritzing out as it tried to process Spike’s pleading command. He hadn’t seen anything close to this level of desperation and fear in those blue eyes since the Pavayne incident had left him feeling the fires of Hell licking at his spectral bootheels. He also hadn’t felt so much fear himself since nearly losing his Childe all over again, so soon after he’d come back (<em> to me, after he’d come back to me </em>). And now he wanted...he wanted…</p><p>“Got about three seconds before I feel like you’re rejectin’ me here, Peaches.” <em> Oh, God, his voice, he still thinks I’m fucking with his head. My boy, what have I done to you? </em>“Then I change my mind and crawl my sorry arse downstairs and make myself someone else’s problem. One. Two. Thr-”</p><p>Angel shook himself out of his own mired thoughts and with all the grace and speed his vampire agility afforded him, pulled Spike fully into his lap. The hand he had cupping his face slid around to the back of his head, thumb nudging under his jawline to urge his head back as he leaned in to press his lips to Spike’s. <em> So </em> that’s <em> how you shut him up these days. Time was, I had to do a lot more than just kiss him to get him to keep quiet.  </em></p><p>Spike hesitated for a brief moment, then melted into the kiss, his lips molding to Angel’s as his hands came up to clutch at Angel’s shoulders for balance as he leaned over him, glad now that neither of them had shirts on, grateful for the feel of Angel’s cool skin beneath his fingertips. With Angel’s blood running through his veins, and his lips pressed so softly to his, Spike’s mind was more muddled than ever. Countless years spent coming to terms that he’d never experience this with Angel again, gone in a non-existent heartbeat as he let his eyes slip closed.</p><p>Moments of the past flashed in full technicolor behind his eyelids as Angel’s lips began to move against his own. The first time Angelus had led him to his bed, the confused and awkward fledge quickly reduced to a mewling kitten as their demons found pleasure in each other; lessons beaten brutally into him, to be followed by lazy days of recuperating with his teeth sunk into Angelus’ throat, breast, wrist, wherever he was allowed; those endless hours of delicious pleasure that night and following day in China after he’d taken his first Slayer, Angelus feeding off him after Darla had stormed off in a snit, dragging Dru along with her and muttering some nonsense about not being able to stand the smell, and sharing in the passion the potent blood instilled in their veins; that last moment alone together on the submarine before Angel had shunted him off to flee the coming sunrise, when he foolishly thought that the hurried romp in the sub’s engine room had meant more, that he would find his way back to him and Dru.</p><p><em> Bloody hell, I really am a goner for the blighter if just a soddin’ simple kiss can bring everything back clear as day </em> , Spike thought as he parted his lips with a soft sigh, <em> turned me sentimental already and he ain’t even brought his tongue into the - oh, fuckin’ hell. ‘As he picked up mind reading now, too? Fuck, don’t moan, you nance, don’t you dare fuckin’ give him that satisfaction, not yet, any moment now he could still spurn you, show you how weak and stupid you are for believin’, for trustin’ he ain’t that monster. Don’t make a sound, don’t - </em></p><p>Angel clutched Spike closer to him as he deepened the kiss, his tongue delving in the moment he parted his lips, the hand he’d been bracing against the couch with coming up to splay across the bare skin of the blonde’s back. Fuck, how he’d missed this, the simple ease with which Spike gave himself over to his desires, forgot how pliant his boy became when the demon had its way, the normal obstinancy a wholly human remnant that fought against the subservient nature of both demon and man, forgot how completely he could be consumed by the mere taste of him, wanting to devour him in every way, needed every bit of him within his own being and to be within him just as fully. Fifty-odd years since he’d last had him in his arms, a century and thensome since he’d felt this close to him, and it was like nothing had changed. Some things truly are eternal.<em> I wonder </em> ...Angel licked into Spike’s mouth, the thick muscle of his tongue flicking over the soft ridges of his soft palate briefly before pulling back to seek out the bumps along his gum that housed his fangs. <em> There you are, lovely Will. </em> Angel smirked into the kiss as Spike let out a broken moan and continued his ministrations.</p><p><em> Curse him, didn’t think he still remembered that trick. </em> Spike fought to not lose himself in Angel’s kiss, his hands fumbling their way up broad shoulders and around his neck to curl his fingers in the short strands of hair. He tugged lightly, not looking for payback, just hard enough to ease Angel ( <em> evil bastard </em>) back enough so he could try to get his bearings again. Angel hummed a soft chuckle and pulled back an inch, his tongue swiping across Spike’s bottom lip along the way.</p><p>“<em> Fuck </em> . Dirty pool, Da.” Spike murmured hardly loud enough to register even with vampiric senses, his cheeks heating with stolen blood. <em> Shite, hadn’t meant for that particular epithet to slip out. One kiss and I’m a sappy, namby-pamby whelp all over again. Really is gonna be the death of me, the sod. Hoped he had become a bit less of a good kisser, but of course I ain’t got such good luck. </em> “No fair, startin’ with that move right off the bat, Angel.”</p><p>“Told you, William, not fighting nature anymore.” Angel nipped at Spike’s lip with blunt teeth, his tongue running over it to soothe the sting. “Following instincts when it comes to you, and my <em> instincts </em>want you just as much as they always did.”</p><p>Angel felt his cock jump at the resulting whimper Spike loosed at that sentiment, quickly beginning to swell beyond comfort. <em> At least I’m wearing loose pants. Jesus, I love the sounds he makes. </em> He shifted Spike in his lap, tugging him to where he could feel the growing bulge beneath him.</p><p>“Christ, Liam. ‘S like you ain’t missed a step, feel like we’re right back where we were, ‘fore the curse.”</p><p>“Eidetic memory, Spike, remember? Haven’t forgotten a single bit of what got young Will going.” Angel smirked against Spike’s lips. “Remember every pretty little face you made, every sound. Pretty sure I remember what caused each one, too. And fuck if I don’t want all of that again.”</p><p>Before Spike could respond, Angel claimed his lips again, the hand he had cupping the back of his head slowly moving around his neck. As their tongues slid over each other in that increasingly familiar dance of long ago, he let his hand slip down Spike’s chest, fingers tracing over his sternum and along the defined muscles of his abs before trailing back up. He was rewarded with another longing moan as his thumbnail scraped lightly over Spike’s nipple before tweaking the bud between thumb and forefinger. <em> Still so responsive. Fuck, I need to feel more of him. </em></p><p>After drawing a few more moans from him, Angel finally broke the kiss, huffing a soft chuckle at the whine of protest. Before Spike could voice his objections through his unnecessary panting, Angel carefully eased him back along the couch, propping his head up against the pile of pillows before laying himself out alongside him. <em> Well, at least the perks of this hellhole came with a big enough sofa, otherwise this would be even more tricky to maneuver. </em> He knew he could have just taken this to the bedroom, but really didn’t want to break the moment by having to stand up. Didn’t want to give either of them any empty time to think beyond here and now; he could spend forever brooding over tonight if Spike regretted it later, but they both needed this now, couldn’t keep fighting what their demons kept calling out for. Spike needed the blood, and the blood would keep pulling right back to this moment, so fight it? They could deal with the fallout when Spike could walk again...even if that meant seeing him walk out of his life again, even if he walked away for good. </p><p>“Come ‘ere you great pillock”, Spike whined, trying to pull Angel back down to him. “Got me all worked up, now you’re just gonna linger outta reach? Don’t bloody think so.”</p><p>Angel scoffed and shook his head, pressing a swift kiss to Spike’s lips before pulling back out of reach of his questing hands; Spike growled in displeasure.</p><p>“Temper, William.” The old commanding tone laced his words easily now that Angel had loosened the leash on his instincts and his demon nearly purred when Spike automatically responded to it, his demeanor reflexively becoming slightly more submissive as his own demon sought to please it’s elder.<em> I see that hasn’t changed much, either. Good. Should make him less combative for the next part. </em> “You need more blood, Spike. One mug’s worth every few hours won’t give you any kind of upswing given how quickly it’s getting used up.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“<em> No </em> . You want us to continue where this was going, you <em> will </em>feed.”</p><p>Spike gulped back a moan as Angel stared down at him, his features set in determination. The lingering blood in his veins made it simple to give in to his Grandsire’s order, old habits kicking in to allow him to move almost on autopilot. <em> Bloody hell, shoulda known this would be a slippery slope.</em></p><p>“You best not be playin’ with me, ‘Gelus, not gonna let you in, just to be cast off again soon as the blood haze ‘as worn off.”</p><p>“Told you, I’m <em> not </em>him.” Angel softened at the vulnerable look in Spike’s eyes. He leaned down and nuzzled against his cheek briefly, letting a soothing purr rumble in his chest. “I’m tired of pretending I don’t care, that I haven’t wanted to feel you like this since you came back to me.”</p><p>“Gods, we’re both a pair o’saps, ain’t we?” Spike let his eyes fall closed as Angel shifted them both.</p><p>“Well, you already knew you were love’s bitch, so you really shouldn’t be surprised.”</p><p>Spike growled in derision but made no attempt to deny it. Angel carefully moved both of them into a once-familiar position. Bracing his head against the back of the couch, he pulled Spike so that he was half-draped over him, one arm wrapping around Spike’s waist to anchor him in place as the slighter vampire’s legs slotted between his. Angel had to bite back a groan as Spike’s semi-hard cock brushed against his even as Spike himself let out a soft moan, his hands coming to rest on Angel’s arms. He pressed gently at the back of Spike’s head and guided his Childe to the curve of his neck, purring again as Spike licked tentatively over the skin.</p><p>“That’s it, Will. Come on, drink.” </p><p>Spike moaned against his throat and Angel felt as much as he heard the crunch and shift of bones as Spike’s human visage slipped away. His cock twitched and he let out a groan as Spike’s fangs slowly pierced his skin. Angel felt himself relax further against the couch as Spike’s tongue lapped up the blood that trickled around the fangs keeping the punctures open. As Spike suckled lightly at the wound, Angel felt the heightening effects of the blood sharing, the fingers at the back of Spike’s head carding through the ungelled curls.</p><p>“Good boy,” Angel cooed as Spike fed, his cock hardening to near-painful levels. Memories of the past rushed through him again and all that love that had lingered in his unbeating heart surged back into life as he clutched his Childe closer. Spike hummed against his skin, the single sound full of so much promise. “Fuck, <em> Spike </em>. William, sweet Childe, I missed this.”</p><p>Spiked moaned and pushed his hips forward as best he could, thrusting his cock up against Angel’s slightly. Angel let out a low growl at the feel of Spike’s cloth-covered hardness against his and swept his hand back along Spike’s waist to reach between them. <em> So much for thinking of everything, Angel. Should have taken the time to remove his pants first </em> . His hand brushed over Spike’s stomach muscles and felt them tremble at his touch. <em> Always did turn to putty for me if I petted you softly enough, didn’t you, boy? </em> </p><p>Spike’s feeding slowed as he felt Angel stroked his hand down his stomach, his cock aching to feel that broad hand wrapping around him. The blood rushing through his veins had already taken full effect, his senses completely honed in on his Grandsire, the taste of him, the heady scent of arousal that filled his nose, the feeling of Angel’s erection pressed against his. <em> Gods, just take me already, you cocktease. Already doin’ all I can not to hump your bloody leg like a desperate Fledge. </em> </p><p>“Spike, hmm...enough, Childe.” Angel spoke softly, tugging lightly at Spike’s hair, as he felt the loss of blood starting to affect him. The commanding tone still laced his words as he nudged him away. “Enough now, Will.”</p><p>Spike felt a shiver run down his spine at Angel’s words and eased his fangs from the wound. He lapped up the remaining drops of blood as the puncture closed back up and let his human features slip back into place before raising his head to look at Angel, a soft purr rumbling in his chest. </p><p>“Fuck, Angel, touch me already. Please.”</p><p>Angel smirked at him and slid his hand beneath the pajama pants at the same time he leaned up to capture Spike’s lips in a slow kiss. He groaned at the taste of his own blood on Spike’s tongue, Angelus calling to him for him to devour every bit of the Childe in his arms. Angel felt his fangs descend and broke the kiss hurriedly, his fingers frozen just inches away from Spike’s cock. Spike took in his demon face and flashed a sly grin down at him before shifting closer, bucking lightly against Angel’s hand. </p><p>“Didn’t need to stop, Peaches. Want it.” Spike leaned in and kissed Angel soundly, his tongue sliding teasingly over one of his fangs before pulling away. “Not fighting anymore, right? So do it, <em> Da </em>.”</p><p>Angel groaned and let Spike control the kiss, the taste of Spike’s blood filling his senses as Spike pierced his tongue against a fang before tangling with his. His demon crowed in delight as the taste of family blood (<em> Spike’s blood, William’s blood </em>) flooded his mouth, and he let his hand wrap around Spike’s cock.</p><p>Spike moaned into the kiss, his hips thrusting forward as much as the position allowed as Angel began stroking down his shaft. As Angel began a slow pace, Spike let his hands roam over his Grandsire, fingers running over any flesh they could find. One hand made its way up to cup Angel’s face, the other slipping between them to run down his chest. Angel let out a rumbling growl of pleasure as Spike’s fingers tweaked at his nipple, his head angling back to pant against Spike’s lips. </p><p>“Fuck, Will.” Angel nipped at Spike’s bottom lip, his swiping over it to lick up the bead of blood. “Wanted this for so fucking long, Spike, having you here, in my arms, like this. Jesus, Childe, you have any idea what you do to me?”</p><p>Spike smirked down at Angel and shifted to thrust his hips up, brushing against Angel’s aching cock. </p><p>“Might have, yeah. ‘S any consolation, been feelin’ it, too, luv.” Spike moaned as Angel’s hand stroked faster, twisting slightly at the head, his thumb running over the slit to spread the pre-cum to slick the way. “Christ! Oh, bloody hell, not gonna last long, pet. Not all of us got to enjoy a mid-day tug in the shower.”</p><p>“Didn’t really let myself enjoy that one all that much. Spent most of it trying to push away the thought of your lips wrapped around me.”</p><p>“Always did like me on m’knees, didn’t you, Sire? Fuck, just like that, luv, so bleedin’ close.”</p><p>Angel growled and worked faster over Spike’s cock, his human face shifting back into place before he tugged his head back down to capture his lips in a hungry kiss. <em> Still my boy, no matter how much the little things may have changed. Never should’ve stayed away for so long, lovely Will. </em></p><p>“Do it.” The tone of his command resonated through both of them as he felt Spike’s cock throb in his palm. “Now, Spike, come for me. <em> Come, William. </em>” </p><p>Spike came with a drawn-out keen, his body tensing up as he spilled into Angel’s hand. Angel slowed his movements but didn’t still his strokes, smirking up at Spike as he prolonged his climax.</p><p>“Oh, <em> fuck </em>, Da! Bloody unfair, you are. Keep usin’ old tricks on me.”</p><p>Spike went lax against Angel as the final drops of cum were wrung from him. <em> Left me all jelly-like, the sod. Gods, he really ain’t forgot a bloody thing. </em> A soft purr rumbled in his chest as he dipped his head to nuzzle into the curve of Angel’s neck. He lingered there until Angel released his cock, lifting his head as he eased his hand from his pants and raised it to his lips. Spike’s eyes widened, flashing gold, as Angel’s tongue lapped the cum up from the palm of his hand, and he leaned forward to capture his lips in a sloppy kiss. </p><p>Angel dropped his hand back to Spike’s hips, sliding down to cup his ass and pull him closer as Spike licked the taste of himself out of his mouth. Clutching the pliant blonde to him, Angel thrust up, shifting Spike as he did to rub his aching cock against the other’s sensitive member. Spike grunted into the kiss as a frisson of pleasure-pain ran down his spine, his half-hard cock giving an excited twitch as Angel sought his own release.</p><p>Angel worked his Childe against his cock, his orgasm looming closer with each thrust, each swipe of Spike’s tongue over his own. The wet spot on his pants transferred from Spike’s remaining spend grew as a dribble of pre-cum spurted from the tip, the fabric catching deliciously on the head as it dragged roughly upwards over his cock. He could feel his climax coming and ground Spike against him, breaking the kiss with a growl as he thrust up one last time, stilling as he came.</p><p>“Still just as bloody gorgeous when you come, Sire”, Spike breathed against his lips, his nose nudging playfully against Angel’s. “Oughta tape you sometime, Da, let you see how beautiful a thing it really is. Fuck, Angel, the power you have over me.”</p><p>Spike jerked back with a gasp. <em> Shite. Control your bloody mouth, William! Keep sayin’ things you ain’t ready to admit yet, you’ll be tellin’ him ya love him still ‘fore the sun’s up. </em> Spike stared down at Angel nervously, his tongue firmly pressed against the roof of his mouth to keep it from wagging again.</p><p>Angel simply smiled softly back at him, his hand cupping his cheek, his thumb brushing gently across Spike’s bottom lip. <em> Sweet Will, so afraid to show yourself to me, to be vulnerable. I will fix that, my lovely boy, if it takes the rest of forever. </em></p><p>“No more than you have over me, Spike.” Angel shifted the pair of them into a more comfortable position, his arms still keeping Spike in place against him. “Sleep, Childe. Let the blood do its job.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“I said <em> sleep </em>.”</p><p>Angel’s growl turned into a purr as Spike finally relaxed against his chest, his head tucking under his chin, one arm slipping around his waist to clutch back. He knew Spike was asleep once his unnecessary breathing ceased and stared up at the ceiling, his mind whirling. <em> Jesus, if I don’t fix the broken pieces between us before he can walk again, he’s going to run off the second I’m out of tackling reach. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I made a survey for a few things I would like opinions on: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfL7RNCF4D6QH0HKnrzCr_fZCgw8YS_q-_T2eSMhJghnwOF9g/viewform?usp=sf_link</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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